>
kiss me, kill me, love me
Satan: [appears]
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: LANGUAGE.
Satan: What?
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.

quevidamastriste:

Opposite day!

floozys:

"hairless cats are disgusting!"

"hairy women are disgusting!" 

image

smartgirlsattheparty:

cerceos:

Alana Jones-Mann | Tumblr

DIY Houseplant Cupcakes

Does this count as “eating your greens”?

gaywrites:

Remember that online fundraiser to build a pro-LGBT billboard in the Westboro Baptist Church’s hometown? It worked. Feast your eyes on the “God Loves Gays” billboard, standing proud in Topeka, Kansas for all to see. If any additional funding comes through, it will be used for bus ads in Topeka, donations to LGBT youth organizations, and possibly a similar billboard in Utah. Bless. (via the Huffington Post)

What turns you on? Off?
Anonymous

mrscreepshow:

I’m not a fucking light switch.

alotlikekayla:

dragon-in-a-fez:

a 100% accurate map of north america as drawn by a canadian

I love how I live in Satan’s armpit! Haha. Hopefully not forever! Lol.

alotlikekayla:

dragon-in-a-fez:

a 100% accurate map of north america as drawn by a canadian

I love how I live in Satan’s armpit! Haha. Hopefully not forever! Lol.

bogusjake:

when ur running down the stairs with no bra on

image

KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!

breakfastburritoe:

*drinks water to avoid talking*

prauprganda:

I shouldn’t have laughed

prauprganda:

I shouldn’t have laughed